It was the Damnedest Thing

Telephone ringing


AFB: Public Affairs, Sergeant Reed.




Joe: Hi, my name is Joe Jones, I’m with the Globe.




AFB: What can I do for you Mr. Jones?




Joe: I’m following up on a story and I was just wondering if I could get some information on some events that occurred last night?




AFB: OK.




Joe: We had several people call the paper and I’ve talk to some others who say they saw some kind of UFO in the sky around 6 o’clock last night. I’m trying to coordinate the stories and decipher whether or not they mistook some kind of military or commercial aircraft… you know…




AFB: OK. What can I tell you?




Joe: Well? I talked to the airport up in the city and they said they didn’t have any flights over the town last night, they all go north, you know…




AFB: I know, they can’t fly over the base.




Joe: Exactly, so it must have been some kind of military aircraft. Can you tell me if you have any activity in the area last night that could have been mistook for a UFO?




AFB: I don’t know, we’ve got a lot of things. Can you be more specific?




Joe: Well folks in town say they saw something, some of them described it as a lot of lights. This one guy, he’s a pilot, he said it wasn’t a plane. Said it was a mile long and moved like nothing he’d ever seen. Couple of fellas said they thought they saw some jets chasing it.




AFB: Yeah.




Joe: Then it just took off. Said it went straight up.




AFB: Yeah.




Joe. Yeah, what?




AFB: Yeah. That happened.




Joe: What happened?




AFB: It was the damnedest thing. They said we got this thing on radar coming straight at us, and it wasn’t a mile long but it was pretty big.




Joe: What… I…




AFB: Then they scrambled a couple of fighters we had, we always have two on alert. They chased the damn thing like fifty miles but then…. Pffft.




Joe:




AFB: Couldn’t catch it, I guess. It was pretty weird.




Joe: You’re joking with me, aren’t you?




AFB: No, not at all. That actually happened. I can’t explain it. Nobody can. That shit happens all the time, we’re just not supposed to lie about it anymore because, what’s the point of that? This thing came down, clipped a few treetops at about two thousand miles per hour and then…. Flew away.




Joe: You’re serious?




AFB: Yes, godammit. I don’t know what else to fucking tell you. It’s not like we can do anything about it. This shit happens all the time and I don’t know what else to fucking tell you, alright? Now is there anything else I can do for you today, Mr. Jones?




Joe: No, I guess not. But…




AFB: What?




Joe: Nothing. Thanks. Goodbye.




AFB: Have a nice day.




Click.